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Shuddering...coming hard and coming again until I was just an exhausted limp thing...he turned off the engine, petted me down, lifted me off his surprise. I felt weak, straightened my dress, breathed deeply. "We better go now," he whispered, "I'm late to get home." That was my first taste of him but hardly the last. I still got flowers and notes but now we arranged our trysts, often at my home when hubby was out of town. More games and fantasies. Usually, I would wear things Jerry got me for these special evenings. I thought about our "nights" all week long and by the time evening arrived, well, what can I say, I was really horny and ready. After all, Jerry had been fucking me in my mind from Monday to Friday, the anticipation growing each day. This particular Friday night, I dressed in my French Maid outfit: a short skirt, small apron, hair in a pony tail, low cut blouse. That was it...no stockings or knickers to get in the way. Bare legs, bare bottom, no frills. I could. ‘I just… I just thought you were so in love with Gary.’ She stuttered between tears. ‘You know, being that way was always something weird or crazy.’ She had a point. Girls at our school who were gay were always shunned, or f***ed to live with their natural ambitions in agonizing silence. I had a few times wondered if Cindi was this way, but being so wrapped up in the day to day events of a teenager superseded those significant matters of the heart. I felt so bad for my dear friend… How did I ever not see this? Why didn’t I look for this, or better yet, why didn’t I follow up that night with another time where we both could express ourselves? I had to quit beating myself up. That was in the past, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had to deal with here and now, and my heart broken friend who still suffered from her unrequited love. I turned the conversation to a more hopeful one, which surprised even me. Here I was speaking of hope and the future, words that never once came.
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